Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
