how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
