So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
