There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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