I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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