I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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