i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
