Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
