Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
