I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
