Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
