You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
