Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
