That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
