I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He felt like a one man threesome
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
