this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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