# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
