Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
