dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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