I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
