Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Edward fifth and chaser hands
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Text me some of your sweat
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