she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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