He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
