...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
