I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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