I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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