No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
