Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
