And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
