Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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