I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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