my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just found a bag of teeth...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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