is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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