He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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