so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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