I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
