Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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