It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
