Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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