ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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