I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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