I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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