when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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