I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
