You made me cry and you don't even care
my sisters under your porch take her home
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
