there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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