so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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