found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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