Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
