I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
