the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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