Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Send help, water and tortillas.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
