I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
