Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
