I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So vagazzling was a success
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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